After Saturday’s performance, we noticed a crowd hovering garrulously around a corner of the Barkley front patio – the after performance party. A woman was expressing her impression of the evening’s show and the crowd was fascinated by her perceptions. Ah yes, a middle-aged lady smoking Cuban cigars; I recognized her. It was the infamous Profesora Stomp. Profesora Stomp wrote her Masters, “The Cultural Impact of flamenco on the American Culture” at the Cacafuego Institute of Flamenco Arts in Laguna Beach. She was puffing away like a blowfish in her gold lame/sequined billowing blouse, seductively hunched over a fine glass of Madeira in her hand. With a spray of grey sprinkled in her painted black massive strangled hair, and a rather large, aquiline nose, her bug eyes with their piercing gaze and a perpetual pinched look upon her face, I asked if I could interview her concerning tonight’s performance. She inhaled deeply a few drags before bestowing her precious response with a low, gravelly voice, “Of course, my dear.” With eyes twinkling mischievously, we proceeded.

Michele: First of all, I would like to thank you for allowing me to interview you, and am humbly honored. Everyone seemed excited about the Farruco family – the flamenco dynasty and all. What did you think about the show?

Profa Stomp: Well, basically, it started out poorly. I’d give the guitarists a D-; the Three Gorditos a C-; the Two Girls in White Suits a C, and Mama Farruca a B (in compensation for her indifference and years of wisdom.)

Michele: Two girls in white suits – you mean two boys in white suits, right?

Profa Stomp: No, I meant two girls in white suits; they exuded absolutely no masculinity – somewhat like our beefy, pumped up governor would say, “girlie boys.”

Michele: Wow, those are some harsh comments! How do you think other flamenco aficionados will respond?

Profa Stomp: Well, as they say in the business – once you’ve experienced Domingo Ortega, you can never go back! Although this is THE flamenco dynasty of this century, there is no excuse for sloppy performances – Farroquito in jail, or not. Evidently, the Farruco family think that they can get away with their reputation by fooling the public with kid shows. They have a rude awakening! There are a lot of talented people who are for real – Domingo Ortega, Soraya (Clavijo Castillo), Joaquin Grillo, Andres Marin, or if you wanted youth w/ masculinity - Jairo would have been a much better choice. Just because the dumb Americans (Spaniards were there, too.) are applauding like mindless seals, doesn’t mean that there are some, such as myself, who don’t know when they are being hoodwinked.

Michele: Could you give specifics?

Profa Stomp: As we all know, flamenco is raw - volcanic, with intense primordial origins, forever fermenting in the fertile procreating roots, ripped from the ground, and exposed to the sobering light of day. Ahem, excuse my enthusiasm; I digress. To put it simply, flamenco connects to all of us because of its earthiness. Unfortunately, in this production, very little of this “earthiness” was expressed. Instead, this production was sadly disappointing, effeminized, jazzified, and frankly, an insipid “little boy flamenco” show; Mama flamenco and las dos hijas – my dear, not a grammatical error - these were young boys that looked like girls who continuously bounced around like young roosters, with no emotional depth - sadness, jealousy, envy – and who only displayed a one dimensional emotion called proud arrogance. It takes a rare genius to interpret a song, and that genius often comes with the wisdom of the ages. These young men are waaaaaay too young; they have simple life experiences; they, as yet, do not have an emotional well from which to draw. Also, the boys’ routines were so perfectly choreographed for each other – oftentimes, I felt like I was watching a student recital, not a flamenco dynasty. These dancers are on stage because of the name, Farruco, not because of their talents. My heart honestly goes out to Farruco, he has taken his grandfather’s name, now he must live up to the legend. You can call yourself a Farruco, but that doesn’t make you one.

Michele: How do you think that this problem could be corrected?
Profa Stomp: A dancer's responsibility is to tell the guitarist to stop what they're playing and to pay attention. In this concert, the little tinkling melodies and distracting syncopations did not compliment the dancers. It's wonderful to hear how clever they are, but it did nothing to enhance the dancers' choreography. If someone is going to inattentively plunk cords because they're bored, or perhaps sense that the American audience doesn't know what's going on - do not blatantly do so in the middle of a dance! Alegrias was an absolute mess; one guitarist was playing fancy chords, and was OBVIOUSLY inattentive and oblivious to the dancer. Out of all this mess, who is rightly to blame? Well, the bottom line of this boorish concert is FARRUQUITO, the director and choreographer.

Michele: Well, he’s in jail; nothing can be done about that.

Profa Stomp: Well, someone has to be responsible. Let’s see – the microphone was not working in the first number. Who’s to blame for that? Was the Music Director so inattentive that he couldn’t talk to the man in the booth to have someone replace the mike? Meanwhile, we, in the audience are painfully aware that El Perla is examining his nails. ALERT! Sound technician and musical director ... this important bulletin: The first number, Alegrias - El Perla is examining his nails. THE MIKE IS OFF! Are the technicians asleep, or were they bored by the show itself? Who's responsible for this? What is the Artistic Director doing? Having h'ordeurves and wine? Mama Farruca ran off the stage edging and almost fell down. Thankfully, she caught her footing.

Michele: Understanding your dissatisfaction about the overall show – what did you think of the Farruco and Barullo’s Hip-Hop/flamenco style?
Profa Stomp: I’m glad you asked. As we music enthusiasts know, in hip-hop, the beat is of non-importance. Hip-hop dancers are never on beat, and have absolutely nothing to do with the beat; it’s all about jumping randomly – of which the boys were quite competent. In contrast, flamenco is all about the compas, the driving rhythm. When flamenco loses its essence – the driving beat – it loses its power. There is an obvious disconnect between flamenco & hip-hop; they’re like a dysfunctional family. Now, we have this concert whereas Farruco and Barullo are fusing these two music forms. As a result, (and probably unbeknownst to them) they’ve created a huge musical schism of energy - that persistently dissipates throughout the evening’s performance, and eventually unravels by the end of the show. If the dancer is disinterested in directing the guitarist because s/he is busy flying around the stage, then, you’ve created an artistic disconnect. Whether the guitarist plays something to compliment the dancer, or the dancer directs the guitarist – someone has to make a connection with their performers, AND IF THEY ARE TRUE ARTISTS - the audience. Because of this overt disconnect, the audience did not respond strongly to their fantastical, aerial displays. Randomly jumping around like two bunny rabbits has absolutely nothing to do with the flamenco soul. Somebody needs to explain the world according to flamenco.

Michele: But, they did get a standing ovation.
Profa Stomp: Phfft! Totally ridiculous! Giving a standing ovation to a student performance is absurd. I believe that the standing ovation was in recognition for the Farruco dynasty – that being the case – they fell short of performance qualify and did not earn an encore, or ovation. Our applause only demonstrated our ignorance. Being gypsies, it only confirmed in their minds what fools we were.
We need to understand that, for them, this is their livelihood, and that it’s all about money. Did you hear what happened in Albuquerque this summer?

Michele: No, unfortunately, I was unable to attend.
Profa Stomp: An extremely close friend of mine, an anonymous source – I will call him, El Gekko, said that at the Flamenco Festival in Alburquerque, Joaquin Encinias fell down on stage, AND Los Farruco refused to perform at the final concert because of money issues. Now, what was I saying about gypsies? Evidently, Andres Marin came to the show’s rescue by dancing in his house slippers. And dearie, I will never reveal my sources, even if threatened by a federal judge.
.
Michele: Well, now that you’ve totally demolished the Farruco dynasty, what did you think about the singers/palmeros?

Profa Stomp: They were terribly weak. The singers were soft, pretty and flighty. Why have three who tonally sound the same? Two would have been enough. Excuse me; I NEED another drink.

And with that, Profesora Stomp ended my interview, proceeded to the bar and drank herself into unconsciousness.